#TGWL Weight Loss Challenge Month Two

What the hell is #TGWL? Tech Geek Weight Loss, Twitter Geek Weight Loss, Thank God We Love, umm, Donuts!

Ok, so that last one really doesn’t work.

Never the less what #TGWL is, is a personal challenge among friends on Twitter who really don’t like what they see when they look in the mirror after their morning shower.

Every one of us is our own worst enemy.

On one shoulder we have a little Devil telling us how amazing a cream filled chocolate donut would taste with a Super Big Gulp full of Mt. Dew to wash it down.

Welcome to America. (Mind you, this challenge is open to anyone, anywhere. We just all know the “nutrition” image the US has)

Here’s the thing. On our other shoulder there is a neglected, seldom listened to, meek Angel whispering that a healthy salad and a glass of water would be a far better meal.

The problem we have is that little bastard Devil really screams, he doesn’t whisper so we very rarely ever listen to the Angel. What this challenge is, is a way to remind you that you’re not alone. Everyone has those two on our shoulders, everyone would honestly rather listen to the Devil and tell the Angel to get bent. This group and this challenge is to help us listen to that Angel a bit more often.

Am I telling you that you can’t have that Venti White Chocolate Raspberry Mocha with Whip Cream every morning on your way to work? Well, no, not exactly. What I’m telling you is, maybe, drop down to a Grande and skip the whip cream. Then maybe work back to a Venti, but only on Fridays.

Am I telling you that you can’t have that massive ice-cold beer? Hell, no. What am I, an idiot? (Don’t answer that!) No, I’m saying, save it for Friday night, after you’ve “behaved yourself” all week.

In the mean time, go for a walk on your lunch break. Have a baked chicken breast sandwich and raw veggies for lunch instead of that Triple Bacon Cheeseburger and Large Fries.

Keep an eye on the calories you bring into your body and what you burn with more physical activity. Try to eat healthier alternatives. Use Honey in your coffee instead of processed Sugar. Whatever. You’d be amazed how many ways there are to get healthier.

As far as the challenge goes, basically all we are doing is tracking our progress on a Google Docs spreadsheet and then keeping each other motivated in Twitter using the #TGWL hashtag.

This challenge is open to anyone, anywhere. It would be kind of nice if you had a Twitter presence just because that’s the outlet most of us are using to keep each other motivated. However, this isn’t necessary. The only goal we all have is to get healthier and to try to have a lower number at the bottom of the spreadsheet than we did at the top.

By no means is this a challenge to become Anorexic!

Things you must keep in mind. Your weight will fluctuate all over the board. You’ll drop 3 lbs one day and pick them up the next. No one cares!

You need to remember that muscle weighs more than fat does so that scale is only a rough guide. Watch the holes on your belt. Did you drop a hole?

Can those skinny jeans you wore 6 years ago that are hanging in the back of your closet fit now? That is fantastic! That is the measure that matters. Not that lying bastard scale.

Your mirror will tell you “You’re getting better”. You’re scale will only tell you “You can still do better”. If you want to succeed, listen to both.

Hell, listen to both your Devil and your Angel too. Just do both in moderation. Balance. We love our sweets. So what. Just try to love fewer of them while eating healthier and exercising more. You’ll be amazed how good that Pizza will taste on Friday if you’ve earned it by “being good” all week.

The only rule that is an absolute requirement, period, is that you be honest.

Be honest with yourself, be honest with us.

No matter how bad you think you look in the mirror there is someone, somewhere who would see you and desperately wish they had your body the way it is now. Inspire yourself, inspire others. Kick some serious ass at trying to get healthier habits all month.

Then, by god, at the end of June go out and eat a Bacon Cheeseburger the size of your head!

By all means spread the word, hit me up for more information, encourage others to join, whatever. Let’s do this!

Some awesome resources and a disclaimer:

First off, this month’s spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Av79QEDB2dmodDN3QlFLOHo1bV9rY19VeFREOHg3M3c
Anyone who clicks the link has access to modify the page so please be careful with making any deletions, etc. The page wizard @furicle has done amazing things with the calculations and graphs on there and I don’t want to see that messed up.

Two fantastic friends on Twitter and both are Personal Trainers: Greg and Tiffani Feathers, @feathersgw & @TackleItWithTif.
If you’re not Following them, you should be. They’re excellent athletes and excellent motivators that will give you sound advice and a swift kick in the butt any time you need it.

Some awesome websites and applications that many of us are using:

Fitocracy: http://www.fitocracy.com/
If you want to add a Gaming element to your exercise for some added fun, this is the cool site for you.

NerdFitness: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/
A fun, realistic website for us normal ‘Geeks’ who just want to get healthier and not necessarily become a full on Athlete. I highly recommend this site.

MyFitnessPal: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ An excellent site for keeping track of your Food and your Exercise, plus you can share successes with friends, leave messages, etc. It has mobile app options as well. Many of us also use this application and I also highly recommend it.

As far as a disclaimer goes, I want to make it very clear that I don’t recommend anything that I don’t personally believe in, be it websites, exercises, people, products, etc. This is a real challenge for real people and in no way, shape or form is it bought by any corporations. On occasion we may even have prizes for the challenges but these are provided by cool, recommended companies with no strings at all attached.

So, who’s with me on this? You want to look better at the end of Summer than you did at the beginning? Let’s kick some butt and lose some of it while we’re at it.

BYOD Sucks and here is why I say that

Here’s the thing.

I’m not a “Solutions Provider” or an “API Architect” or any of the other IT related positions who stand to gain a substantial amount of business when BYOD get’s implemented in the Enterprise.

Amazingly enough, these types of “journalists” are the guys who are writing a vast majority of the ‘Pro-BYOD’ related blogs that are out there in droves right now.

These guys are sharks who smell blood so of course they’re going to be all for BYOD in the Enterprise and praising the wonders of it and scoffing at all those who are against the idea.

Me, I’m one of the poor bastards who would actually have to support, troubleshoot, and maintain a BYOD implementation. I’m a Network Administrator who actually “get’s his hands dirty”. I’m out there in the trenches, dealing with everything from basic Desktop Support issues on up. Luckily, due to security related issues where I work, we will almost without any doubt never implement any kind of BYOD environment. Quite the opposite here actually.

However, I still see things from the side of the people who support infrastructures once they’re implemented unlike these guys who would do the implementation and then wash their hands and walk away. Either that or they would charge a staggering rate to act as Consultants to support the BYOD implementation that they pushed for.

Since I am a Support IT person I can see several reasons to back up why I am highly against BYOD.

1. Standardization:

Do you really want any number of possible different combinations of Smartphones, Laptops, Tablets, etc. etc. in your Enterprise?

Do you really want to become skilled enough to support every possible issue that could arise on dozens of different types of devices? Bugs, Hardware failures, Patch Management, Software installation quirks, compatibility issues, the list is practically endless. Even down to the petty grade school crap of one user who might have a personal device that is better than another user in the same position’s device and now you get to listen to them whine about it. It’s bad enough now when all we do is offer a decent choice of certain devices to choose from.

There’s also a certain look of professionalism when all the systems in your company match and look like there was obvious thought put into their implementation.

My answer, hell no.

2. Security:

Ugh, where do I start? Viruses, Malware, Tracking Cookies from individual’s internet surfing outside the company, any number of possible Crapware installations. Just exactly how far does a company’s authority to enforce activity on an employee’s personal equipment go? Do you really want to deal with the endless different issues that can arise from personally owned equipment being used on your business network? Should IT really be responsible for cleaning up malware infestations on systems that don’t even belong to the company?

Then there’s also the angle of intellectual property? So your company deals with some kind of sensitive information and this user has lots of it on their laptop? Their laptop gets stolen or that user gets fired or laid off. Now what? If you have a legal team I’m sure they’re going to love dealing with the manure storm that can arise in that situation.

At least if the device is company owned there is an assumed liability already and controls to prevent that kind of thing can safely be implemented without the user having any real say over it. If something is owned by the company then decisions that are best for the company can be made much easier concerning the use of said device.

3. Liability:

Ok, so your user accidentally drops their laptop down 3 flights of stairs. Their personal device is now in pieces all over the lobby? Now what?

Does the company now buy this user a brand new replacement device? Refuse, and the user sues over it’s loss since they were on company property doing company work on their personally owned device.

Chances are high this new device will be better than the one that was broken since gadgets update so quickly. So now the business buys a replacement? What happens when the user leaves the employ of this business? The cost of that device is now lost and this user now has a nice shiny new device paid for by the company.

There are potentially dozens of other reasons to add to this list and each one can have dozens of different little sub-categories of reasons within in them. Enough to turn this blog entry into an Encyclopedia. I think the basis of my opinion is made well enough with just these three.

While BYOD may be an excellent choice for small companies that don’t have the resources to have an on staff IT department saying BYOD is inevitable for the Enterprise is simply ludicrous.

May-June Tech Geek Weight Loss Challenge #TGWL [UPDATE]

Well, this little challenge, initially between 2 people, has taken on a life of it’s own and it is seriously awesome! As of this new blog post we’re now up to 15 people!

Come join the fun! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Av79QEDB2dmodDliS0VKYlltN1FNelp5Y3VQVTdyRWc#gid=0

Below are some important updates and at least one that I’d really appreciate some participation in from the folks joining our challenge in as well.

First, the one I’d love to see folks show their gratitude for:

WE HAVE PRIZES! Thanks to Greg Feathers for driving us on and working for some more motivation, the awesome folks over at NeoCell Sport are tossing in a prize.

They are throwing in some product to whomever ends this thing with the highest percentage of weight loss.

http://www.neocellsport.com/product.php

Amanda Lamm has dived in to give this sausage fest some class and she could really use some more ladies to show us guys how it’s done. The folks at @NeoCellSport have also agreed to throw in some beauty products if the one walking away with this challenge is a woman. So, ladies, you want Amanda to show you up here? Let’s do this!

As a matter of showing appreciation, I’d really like to see you guys give @NeoCellSport a Follow on Twitter, and/or a Facebook Like from their website.

http://www.neocellsport.com/index.php

http://twitter.com/#!/neocellsport

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Collagen-Sport/127216557351487

Some personal motivation for myself and Tim Biden, since this “little” challenge started between us. Mr. Joshua Frankel (@JoshuaFrankel), the self proclaimed “Pixel-pushing Graphic/Web Designer and Closet Geek” with Thycotic Software has generously agreed to put up $2 per lb totaled that Tim and I can lose for donation to Strength.org.

Just for a friendly thank you there, I’d also like to see you guys toss some love his way.

Twitter: @JoshuaFrankel
Blog: http://www.joshuamfrankel.com

He may, or may not, have any help from his employer but either way I also think Thycotic’s products are worth checking out anyway so head over to their website and see what they do.

http://www.thycotic.com

Most importantly, check out  Joshua’s charity of choice for his donation at http://strength.org. A very cool charity doing some seriously important work.

EDIT 05/01/12: Well, Greg Feathers, @feathersgw and Tiffani Feathers, @TackleItWithTif have come through again. In addition to the above, we now also have a $15 RoadID Gift Card to include with 1st Place.

Please follow @RoadID on Twitter and check out their page at http://roadid.com and thank them for supporting this challenge.

EDIT 05/03/12:

The folks over at @NeoCellSport have added an extra incentive just for the ladies!

Give them a Follow, kick the guy’s butts at the #TGWL challenge and you get your choice of the above mentioned product or:

Collagen Plus C Liposome Serum

Collagen with Vitamins Herbal Beauty Mist

Neocell Advanced Hyaluronic Acid Lipsome Serum

Please give them a Follow on Twitter or Like on Facebook or hit me up if you want more information.

 

Now, since this is getting serious here, a Disclaimer:
This is all in fun. No corporate buy offs, no padding our numbers. We’re all online friends who just want to shed some pounds. As such, if you want to join but feel uncomfortable posting your weight for all to see, let me know on Twitter and we will work it out so you can join in without feeling frustrated or embarrassed.

As far as physical prizes go, I’m also recusing myself from receiving any. Doesn’t mean I won’t give you guys a run for your money, so to speak, I’m just doing a lot of organizing and record keeping so I don’t want it to look weird when I win.

I’m cool with Joshua’s charity donation on my behalf. Greg can be in charge of the prizes since he’s the one doing all the work to get them so if I do happen to win he can determine what to do with the items.

Also, if you’re outside the US and do happen to kick our Yankee butts at this challenge, rest assured I will personally make sure your prizes get shipped to you. We’ll make it happen!

May-June Tech Geek Weight Loss Challenge #TGWL

Not completely sure how it started but this morning, Monday 04/30/12, I was talking about needing to lose some weight with a buddy of mine, Tim Biden, on Twitter.  One thing led to another and him and I decided to give ourselves a little challenge to get each other motivated since we both wanted to get in better shape.

4 Weeks, starting Tuesday 05/01/12, ending 06/01/12, lose 12 pounds.

A nice, low-key goal, we figured right on! Let’s get each other motivated.

Well, a bit more conversation went on, some talk with Greg and Tiffani Feathers, who are both Professional Trainers and also friends of mine and, guess what, well as I said above, one thing led to another.

Now, we have, as of this writing, a total of 8 people joining this little challenge.

Guess what? There’s plenty of room for more! You got what it takes to keep up with a bunch of Geeks! The more, the merrier.

4 Weeks, 12 pounds down. If you’re not in the US you have it even easier! That’s only 5.5 KG! You can do that!

Think you can keep up with a bunch of Tech Geeks & Twitter Friends, bring it on! Add yourself to the Google Docs list I’ll link below, track your weight honestly, both up and down, and we’ll see you on 06/01. Bring IT!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Av79QEDB2dmodDliS0VKYlltN1FNelp5Y3VQVTdyRWc

Edit: We’ve decided, to make this more reasonable, and less of a sausage fest hopefully, that instead of 12 lbs in 4 weeks it’s just a ‘May the Best Percentage loss Win!’ challenge. C’mon ladies. I’m getting tired of all these sweaty guys taking up all the challenge space here!

To keep things fair, perhaps if possible, take a photo of your scale (or in my case probably the Wii balance board) and post here or Twitter with the hashtag #TGWL

The Vulture of IT

I am the Network Administrator for a high-tech circuit board manufacturing company. A ‘struggling to survive’ manufacturing company that is currently running in ‘survival mode.’ I have been here for 12 years and this is nothing new to me.

When a corporation is struggling to survive it is like a wounded animal and some really difficult decisions are often made.

As the Network Administrator I’m often called upon to clean-up the fallout after these decisions.

The inevitable decisions are made and I cringe as I’m handed ‘the list’.

“The company has to restructure to help bridge the gap this year. A head count reduction is regrettable but necessary.” “Don’t worry Mike, you are not affected by the head count reduction.”

“You are not affected.”

<sigh> I cringe and glance down ‘the list’.

I see names on the list I don’t even recognize, which makes me feel a little sad. “You are not affected.”

I see names on the list I actually am kind of glad to see, which makes me feel a little guilty. “You are not affected.”

As I glance farther down the list I see names I wasn’t expecting which knocks the wind out of me. “You are not affected.”

I see names of friends, I see names of people I felt were indispensable to the success of the company. “You are not affected.”

I see names of co-workers I’ve worked side by side with for over a decade. I see people who were more family than co-worker. “You are not affected.”

I feel the weight of the world come crashing down upon my shoulders. “You are not affected.”

I feel the pride I once had for the skills I possess, for the company I once supported without question, for the company I once looked at more as a second home than a place of employment, vanish.

“Don’t worry Mike, you are not affected by the head count reduction.”

In my mind I see dozens of laptops, PCs, and cellphones which, until today, were the tools of the co-workers on ‘the list.’ “You are not affected.”

In my mind I see the gigabytes of Personal Drives, My Documents, Outlook Archives, etc. that I now have to clean up and archive. The data that, until ‘the list’ was the products of someone’s career. “You are not affected.”

In my mind I see dozens of accounts that will soon be disabled. The electronic remains of people who are my friends. Remains that I now have to clean up. “You are not affected.”

“Restructure”, “Bridge the gap”, “Head count reduction”

Corporate Human Resources rhetoric that sounds better than “The loss of people’s support structure for their lives.”

“You are not affected.”

I sigh, my shoulders sink, my soul aches, and I move on. I begin the task picking the remains of people’s professional lives apart. “You are not affected.”

As I begin to gather the remaining equipment, the ghosts of friends who once used them, someone walks by and says “Hey, at least you weren’t affected. You’ve got job security.”

In the back of my mind I scream “Fuck you! Take your ‘job security’ and shove it!” and I silently move on with my morbid responsibilities.

“Don’t worry Mike, you are not affected by the head count reduction.”

I’m a Network Administrator, dammit!

First off, let me make some warnings and disclaimers. This is a rant. This is an emotionally fueled rant in defensive response for some really irritating attitudes and blogs I see going around recently. This is a rant primarily directed to a few, but very vocal Developers in the IT Community.

As such, this rant might piss some readers off. Frankly, I don’t give a shit. Don’t like it, don’t read it. Don’t agree with it, I don’t care beyond hearing actual logical arguments as to why it’s wrong.

Now, on to the rant.

There is, yet again, a recent resurgence in the IT community of the old, stale, and idiotic attitude of ‘Hardware Engineers vs. Software Engineers’ battle. This time it’s going around as a ‘DevOps vs. SysAdmin’ argument but it’s still the same old, insular, arrogant, petty bullshit it has always been.

Yes, I’m biased because I am a Hardware guy. Yes, I definitely do need to get some code skills to help make my job easier. But let me make my point crystal clear. I WILL ALWAYS BE A HARDWARE GUY!

I’ve recently flat out been told, damn near word for word, that “in the future of IT there will be DevOps and those who serve DevOps their lunch”. If this is your opinion, stop here as my rebuttal to that is Fuck off!

Yes, Developers create extraordinary software. Advancements that will power the next generation of technology. Programs that will be the soul of The Cloud in coming decades. Sure, fine, DevOps are important. No one can argue that for a minute. But the attitude I keep hearing of ‘If you’re not a DevOp, you’re nothing’ is arrogant, self deluding, idiocy.

Software will ALWAYS need Hardware in order to work, that’s simple logic. As such, Software Support, i.e. DevOps, will ALWAYS need Hardware Support, i.e. SysAdmins, NetAdmins, Desktop Support Technicians, etc. Neither side will ever be able to exist without the other.

While the Developers may be ‘touching the sky’ and be the current center of all the glory in the technology world, they’re doing so by standing on the backs of all those ‘scut workers’, LIKE ME, who have made it possible for them to achieve, and continue to achieve, their glory.

Sure, physically running network cables, physically plugging in and setting up PCs, installing operating systems, etc. is ‘scut work’. Those have always been considered Tier 1 beginning level skillsets. “Monkey work” as I have, disrespectfully, heard it described recently. However, those Tier 1 Support “Monkeys” are the base on which the glorious DevOps depend to do their damn jobs. Without them they would be nothing more than glorified secretaries.

I’m no DevOp. I’m a Network Administrator. I’m no more important or less important than any DevOp. We each need each other equally.

I’m an Network Administrator. At my work, I’m also the Tier 1 Desktop Support guy.

I’m the guy who runs your network cable, who formats your PC just the way you need it, who sets it up.

I’m the guy who keeps your network running, who sets up switches, servers, Active Directory credentials, network permissions, software updates, etc.

I’m the guy who resets your account when you forget to turn off your CAPS Lock key and you lock yourself out of your PC.

I’m the guy who restores that lost database you accidentally deleted.

I’m the guy who replaces that keyboard you spend all day at when you spill coffee on it.

I’m the guy who makes it possible for you, oh glorious DevOp, to do your damn job and to get all ‘the limelight’.

Even in a future Cloud Environment there will always be us lowly ‘scut workers’ somewhere. Perhaps not on staff, but somewhere. Be it consultants, or in server farms, somewhere there will always be someone whom you call and cry to the minute you have something go wrong with the system you need to do your work.

I’m a Network Administrator, dammit! I’m a ‘scut worker’ and damn proud of it.

I’m the pedestal that you, as a DevOp, are standing on and I’m damn well going to be the one to knock you off of it.

Get over yourself! Without me, you would be asking customers if they want fries with their orders and without you I’d be doing the same.

Ok, now what?

I’m sitting here, staring at Windows Live Writer, struggling to figure out what I’m writing, one word at a time.

You see, I “have a blog” if it could be loosely defined as such. I very rarely post things to it so it’s tough to consider it a blog really.

I enjoy writing, I really do. I even do think I’m actually good at writing. When I do write something I get many very kind and encouraging comments.

 

“Dude, i was seriously blown away by your TrimetDiaries piece. Really excellent, funny, and well written. “

“Eerie, but awesome!”

“sweet! Write! ”

“Holy crap! That’s amazing! You oughta write more, Mike!”

“No, really, that’s outstanding. Quit hiding your writing – use your gift.”

“ Holy crap, your story is amazing. Write more. Lots more.”

“Must-read, eerie & true story by @mikerigsby at TriMet Diaries:”

 

Staggering and amazingly generous comments that I don’t feel worthy of receiving which makes me grateful for every reader I get.

But, here’s the kicker. I can never think of anything worth writing about.

I’m an IT Geek by profession. ‘Ok, write about that!’

Yeah, just like thousands of other Technology professionals that are both higher skilled in their profession and are more experienced in writing than I am.

I commute daily via Trimet public transit system. ‘Ok, write about that!’

Yeah, ok, I do actually. I write A LOT about it, on Twitter.

So what do I need an actual blog for? Honestly, I have no idea. Precisely why I at least stick to a free site since I really don’t do it enough to pay for it.

When I do write, I do it because something has hit me personally as important. The feeling is difficult to describe in words. It’s like something inside me is demanding to be put into text.

A piece of your soul that is screaming “Make me real! Make others feel what you feel!” “Make me heard by others!”

A feeble attempt to make a physical representation of a ‘feeling’.

Sometimes it works and the feeling is amazing.

It’s like a release. It’s almost sexual. An intangible force of the universe that you’ve single handedly made exist. Made real. You’ve created something from nothing.

Sometimes it doesn’t work.

You get an idea, a feeling. Something that seems like it’s good, it needs to be ‘made real’. You struggle to put words together to make the feeling real and you try to put it into text.

You put an effort into it, get it out there to the world and then look at it. It just isn’t right. Doesn’t ‘click’. The experience wasn’t satisfying. The release just didn’t happen. That feeling is still in your soul like some jailed creature still screaming to get noticed.

There is no acceptable middle ground if you’re ‘a writer’. As good old Master Yoda say’s “Do, or Do Not. There is no Try.”

When it works, the feeling is amazing. When it doesn’t work, it’s a failure. An urge that never gets satisfied.

The pressure to perform is staggering really. The compliments are amazing when it does work but all they do is increase the pressure for the next ‘release’ to work. To get itself heard in reality.

So……no what?

What do I do?

What do I write about? How do I continue to fill this addiction. This need for the next ‘release’ to be as good as it was before. When it really hit the mark.

Where do the words come from?

A day in the life of a Hired Gun

I’m often called a Hired Gun by trade. I also think of myself as a Consultant. A Contractor. A Troubleshooter.

I take care of problems for people who are intelligent enough to know when they lack the skills or proper tools to fix it themselves.

Today I have a job to for a client who finally had enough of just living with her problem and decided to call someone to fix it. Today’s is an easy job for a change. The world of high technology is making my job easier more and more often. Works for me since I have vacation plans after this job.

I’m up early and getting the tools of my trade ready for my work day. Coffee, a must have for all Hired Guns. My Android phone, necessary to keep in touch with clients, other fellow Hired Guns, and research the various problems I get hired to fix. Other tools of the trade that can change from job to job, depending on the situation or the problem. Every problem has it’s own special techniques to solve so it keeps my job interesting.

I drink my morning coffee and catch up on my Twitter feed, read up on current events, talk to clients about their issues and compare ‘war stories’ with other Consultants. A quick check in on Foursquare and Facebook to see what the other users I follow are up to and I’m off for my work day.

I head downtown to the office building where I’m going to take care of my client’s problem. I get my equipment out and set up. Another quick glance at my Foursquare feed on my phone. Fascinating program. It’s a weird modern world where we all check in on where we go during our daily routines. Same stops every day in our own little world.

I guess it keeps life interesting in an otherwise mundane day and it even makes jobs easier sometimes. Including mine.

I glance out the office building window to the city below. A pleasant day, very little breeze through the open office window. A busy Starbucks down on the street far below. Business people going through their same daily routines day after day. I love my job. Freedom, no routines since each job is a new challenge. I wouldn’t trade being a Hired Gun for anything. A quick glance at my watch and it’s time to get to work.

Time to get the right tool for today’s special problem.

A quick sip of my coffee.

I adjust my sites onto the problem at hand.

Cross hairs in fact.

On the door to the Starbucks down below.

My phone goes off with a Foursquare notification.

And there’s my client’s ‘problem’ now.

“Thanks for the same Foursquare check-ins every day, dude.”

A controlled squeeze of a trigger and the silent effect of my tools of the trade and my client’s problem is solved.

“Oh, and thanks for the Twitpic of the latte you just bought and posted to your feed. It reminded me that I want another one.”

Good thing there’s another Starbucks right down the street.

Fake Anti-Virus Scareware, the scourge of the Internet

Being as how this is a new year with some of the same old internet malware problems I wanted to take a moment to talk about one of the most common and most often infected on people’s computers but it is also one of the easiest to avoid infection from.

Scareware is semi-malicious software that is designed to scare a user into thinking that they need to purchase their software in order to protect their computers. Generally called Fake Anti-virus software, it pop-ups up right in the middle of your screen while online and says your computer is infected with dozens of viruses. The pop-up cannot be closed by the normal X button in the top corner.

A side note to keep in mind is that legitimate anti-virus software, like Microsoft Security Essentials, Kaspersky, etc, nearly always works ‘behind the scenes’. It scans quietly in the background and removes viruses without a blatant, scary message coming up in the middle of your screen.

It is very well designed software and looks legitimate and looks like it’s busily scanning your computer. It’s generally transmitted by malicious or infected advertising banners on perfectly normal, legitimate websites.

Virus and Malware designers will actually purchase advertising space on legitimate websites in order to spread their malicious software so, contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be browsing ‘unscrupulous’ websites to catch computer viruses. This software is designed to make you think your computer is infected and then give you the ability to enter your credit card information to purchase their “anti-virus” software to remove these supposed infections.

This not only gives malicious people your credit card information but it is also not true. Either your computer isn’t infected, or even if it was this software doesn’t actually remove anything. To the contrary, this fake ant-virus software actually is the virus.

I’ve attached a couple screenshots of what the scareware will likely look like, although it comes in dozens of different names.

Now for the important information. Avoiding getting infected. These steps aren’t 100% guaranteed to avoid infection but they’ll definitely help.

If you get one of these fake anti-virus pop ups:

1. STOP! Do not click anything in the window, not the X, not an obvious Close button, nothing. At this point the software most likely is only trying to scare you and hasn’t actually installed on your computer.

2. First thing to try is to press the Alt key + the F4 key. This keyboard combination will force close any active windows. Try it a few times in case the first try doesn’t work.

3. If this doesn’t work, right-click on your Start menu, select Task Manager, then on the Applications tab find the entry for your browser and press End Task, repeatedly if necessary. This will crash your internet browser and, hopefully, one of these two steps will help you avoid getting the malicious software actually installed on your system.

Once you’ve done these, hopefully the pop-ups are gone and the next step I would recommend is, if on a work PC call IT to let them know about it and, if at home I would recommend doing a Full scan with your anti-virus software of choice, just to make sure your system is clean.

My personal preference for Anti-virus software is Microsoft Security Essentials. MSE is free from Microsoft, very lightweight on resources, works extremely well and since it is from Microsoft it will maintain current virus definitions through Windows Updates. However, companies like Kaspersky, GFI, Avast, Avira, AVG, Panda all make good antivirus solutions and many of them are free to use. The important thing is to pick something, keep it up to date, and to scan with it regularly.

Headphones, Magic Listening Devices & Anti-Stupid Shields

If you know me in person or follow me on Twitter you will already know that I commute to and from work via Trimet, which is the Portland, Oregon greater metro area’s public transit system as well as a smaller rural system called SCTD.

I commute a lot.

With wait time between buses I am commuting to and from work almost 5 hours a day.

Not surprisingly, I live by my smartphone and the accompanying headphones. I listen to podcasts, to music, etc. but sometimes I just listen.

I will let you in on a little public transit secret.

Headphones are magical.

They give people the impression that you are busy and shouldn’t be disturbed but they also cast a spell on everyone who sees you wearing them that makes them think that you, somehow, cannot hear a word they say. I like to wear them because of their power to make people decide that they shouldn’t bother you with mindless chatter.

Needless to say this leads to some interesting observations about the other people who share my daily commute with me.

Take today, for instance. Today, I was simply wearing my headphones and wasn’t listening to anything and this allowed me to overhear an interesting conversation between two other commuters that took place right next to me while we all waited at the bus stop for my first bus of the morning. Both fellow commuters were within 10 – 15 feet of me just talking away.

About me.

Here’s a rough transcript of the conversation:

Fellow Commuter #1: “I wonder what that guy (meaning me) does for work. I see him here every morning waiting for the bus.”

Fellow Commuter #2: “Yeah me too, I’ve caught this bus with him for about a year but he’s never said a word to me.”

Fellow Commuter #1: “Me either. He must be a real asshole because he never talks to anyone.”

This type of discussion went on for another 15 minutes or so. Both people theorizing about what I did for a living, about whether I even spoke English, if I had an accent, whether I was anti-social, etc., etc.

All within 10 to 15 feet from me as I was standing there. Talking away like they were discussing a piece of furniture or a character on a TV show.

All because I was wearing headphones.

I find human psychology interesting so this conversation was fascinating.

Mind you, some of it is true. I’m not a very social person ‘in the real world’ with people I don’t already know. Online is an entirely different story but in person I am uncomfortable talking to ‘strangers’.

I’ll let you in on why I’m like this with a theoretical example of how conversations with other commuters has gone for me in the past when I have had them:

Fellow Commuter: (generic introductions and usual opening small talk) “So, what do you do for a living?”

Me: “I’m a Network Administrator for a contract circuit board manufacturer.”

Fellow Commuter: (confused expression) “Oh, so uh, what’s that mean?”

Me: “I take care of all the computers, printers, user accounts, software installations, troubleshooting, PC repairs, system builds, etc., etc. for the company.”

Fellow Commuter: (eyes light up with realization) “Oh! You’re a Computer Geek!”

Fellow Commuter: “So, uh, hey……… Since we’re on that subject. My home computer is having problems with (insert any number of hundreds of possibilities). Do you know what’s wrong with it?”

Me: (sigh)

That is the general way nearly every conversation I’ve ever had with my fellow Trimet commuters has gone. Then, the worst part is once that conversation has been initiated I’ve now, somehow, automatically become the life long tech support for this random stranger on the bus.

THAT is why I don’t talk to fellow commuters if I have a choice.